At the Kindergarten Parent Coffee this week, I presented a concept I first learned from reading Rob Evan's Family Matters. A clinical psychologist, author, and former teacher, Mr. Evans outlines an elegantly simple, straight-forward proposition: every child needs nurture, structure, and latitude. He elaborates:
- Nurture - Children need enough to make them feel they're part of something -- family, school, and the wider community -- but not so much that they are smothered or spoiled. They also need to feel confident that they're treasured for who they are, not what they are supposed to be becoming.
- Structure - Children need boundaries -- a sense of what is and isn't permitted, especially in regard to how to treat people. Where the boundaries lie is not as important as the fact that they exist and are non-negotiable.
- Latitude - Children need the freedom to learn from experience. Just as parents need to protect kids from danger, they also need the patience and confidence to let kids struggle at times.
I think these are beautiful guides to keep in mind as we raise and educate our children.