By Peter Twadell, Head of School
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. - Henry Ford
As educators and parents, we often hear from our children, “I can’t do it.” Just as common, we hear, “I’m not good at (fill in the blank).” It breaks our hearts to hear it, because we don’t want our children to limit themselves. We want our children to have a positive mindset and to believe in -- and practice -- perseverance. If a child has a mindset that they can’t do something or can’t be good at something, what do we do?
One idea is to practice self-compassion. At its essence, it means to be as nice to yourself as you are to others. A recent article titled “How to Teach Your Kids about Their Inner Critic” explores this concept and offers practical, light-hearted tips to help children recognize when they are being too hard on themselves. Some ideas in the article suit younger children, while others will resonate with emerging adolescents. Regardless of age, changing the mindset of an overly self-critical child begins with recognition.
Personally, my favorite piece in the article is the “BFF test.” When you hear your child put themselves down or unduly blame themselves for something, ask them “Would you speak like this to your best friend?” Our students routinely and freely exhibit empathy for others. We should remind them to be equally empathetic to themselves. A little compassion can go a long way.